Thursday, August 23, 2018

Relationships with Narcissistic Individuals

'Hurt people hurt people'

The battle cry of the narcissist

When we enter into a relationship with a narcissistic individual, it is like falling through a dark tunnel in the ground, spinning around and around until we come out the other side and we no longer recognize the world that we are in.  People that were close to us may not understand us anymore and we may see them differently.

We are now in the narcissist's world 
Because the narcissist utilizes 'projection' it becomes difficult to differentiate ourselves from the them. We are in danger of merging into them.

Because most people who fall into relationships with narcissistic people tend to be of the caretaker type, the risk of losing themselves is high.

While much has been said in this forum about narcissism perhaps what has not been discussed as much is that the "target" in a narcissistic relationship often begins to act very much like the narcissist.
It's their need to destroy you, to destroy all the good things in your heart that is lacking in their's.
Perhaps not as much as they are sucking the good out of you for themselves but is that they are sucking the good out of you and spitting it out in an attempt to prove to themselves that you are no different than they are.
They want to show you it's a dark world and everybody hurts everybody. After all, it's the motto that they live by. 
The narcissist is on a never ending campaign to prove to the world and ultimately themselves that it is a dark, lonely and empty place.  And they are hell-bent on converting every non-believer.

Almost every narcissistic female I have encountered has recited this line to me,
'Hurt people hurt people.'
This is the battle cry of the narcissist' 
Don't believe it for a minute.  
It's an excuse for them to commit their misdeeds.
The truth is we live in a beautiful world with mostly good souls. 
The narcissist is the exception and not the ruler. 
The narcissist worst nightmare is that they can not break you, that they are indeed alone in their ugly world. 

The reason why it is often stated you cannot beat the narcissist is because to beat them you must become like them in becoming like them they suddenly don't feel as alone anymore.. It validates their view of the world.

The most difficult part of dealing with a narcissist is that we must disregard them rather than show anger or hatred or love for that matter towards them. 
It's the only way out that keeps our sense of selves in tact.

Don't 'run like hell'. It feeds their egos.  Don't get revenge on them, it validates to them that you are no different than they are. 
Don't 'discard' them as they did to you.
'Disregard' them.  They are not important.
Just a nuisance like a mosquito. 
Put some bug repellant on and watch them 'run like hell' away.

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